Alan Kelly is Still a Shitehawk

By Patrick Brogan

Shitehawk;                                                                                                           NOUN

vulgar slang 

  • 1A large scavenging or predatory bird.

  • 2A contemptible or worthless person.

Alan Kelly was recently in the news rounds as he criticised the Ireland 2040 Plan by describing its PR campaign as “akin to something from the Third Reich, Goebbels territory”, as reported by The Irish Times. Godwin’s Law.

Alan Kelly has been playing a good tactical game recently. He is pointing out Leo Varadkar’s dependence on spin, rather than actually doing anything, and he also tied in Fine Gael‘s dubious past of being associated with Fascism. Double points. He also has been tenacious when attacking the Government’s record when it comes to whistleblowers. This is, of course, a hugely important issue, especially in a parliamentary democracy.

So why call AK-47, as he is known, a shitehawk? Well, it’s his opportunistic nature. Before getting stuck into the former Minister for Justice about what she knew and when, he had barely mentioned anything about the whistleblowers before. He was in Government with these people when some of these complaints were going on? Why didn’t he voice his concerns then?

The answer is; he saw the wind changing and now he is out of government it is easier to bring up issues that are popular with the public. “A large scavenging or predatory bird.” Indeed, his political career has been founded on this. Alan Kelly’s brother bankrolled his run for TD in Tipperary. Was this a case of brotherly love? No, not exactly.

Alan’s brother Declan is the CEO of a company called Teneo. It is “a global advisory firm”. They advise CEOs on where to invest based on what is happening in the political sphere and natural resources fall within that remit. After Alan was bankrolled by his brother, he was elected to the Dáil and became Minister for the Environment straight away. He was the only member of that cabinet that was only elected TD to become a government minister.

Listen to the Navigator Podcast on Teneo, Alan Kelly and Denis O’Brien

During his tenure, Ireland had previously enjoyed an agreement with the EU Commission that we would not pay water charges. This agreement had to be renewed every few years or so. When Kelly was Minister for the Environment he let this agreement lapse. This clearly wasn’t in the interests of the Irish people as they would end up paying more charges at a time when the country was crippled under the bank bailouts. As we have all seen, Irish Water was a disaster from start to finish. This seems very suspicious. Kelly’s brother, the one that paid his campaigning costs, specialises in having this type of information.

Then we look at who else Teneo is connected with. The Clintons. Dinny O’Brien. The people who have sleaze and corruption written all over them. And yet, they continue on, unchecked. Teneo was at the centre of controversy when it was suggested a Hillary Clinton aide advising Teneo was a conflict of interest when Clinton was Secretary of State. It would appear insider information is not below Teneo.

We all remember Alan Kelly writhing in sexual ecstasy on the shoulders of his aides when he got re-elected. “A contemptible or worthless person.” Was it an election or an erection? This thin line between sexual pleasure and perceived power is dangerous. He once described power as a drug. How can any rational person trust him to make decisions that will benefit the nation over that of his own ego? They cannot.



Join the debate. Feel free to comment. You can also subscribe to the site and follow us on social media to stay in touch (on occasion, we are funny)

Facebook – Twitter – Instagram – Soundcloud – The Tube of You


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.